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Minecraft Babysitters & Other Outside-the-Box Ideas for Gifted/2e Kids and Families
It can be daunting but liberating to do things differently, in a way that works for your family
written by Dr. Danika Maddocks
​About once per week for the last year, my kid has enjoyed a couple of hours playing Minecraft with his "Minecraft babysitters," as we call them.
What's a Minecraft babysitter? Simply a babysitter who plays Minecraft with our kid the whole time they're watching him. (Though over time, he has expanded their play into other iPad games, board games, physical play, pretend play, and many other activities.)
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I first had the idea for a Minecraft babysitter because my kid became enamored with Minecraft a little before his 5th birthday and the 12-year-old who lives above us also loves Minecraft. My kid was SO eager about this idea that I also posted in a neighborhood Facebook group to see if I could find other tweens or teens who would be a good fit. I connected with a mom whose 10-year-old loves Minecraft and she thought her kid could be flexible and accommodating (I explained, for example, that my kid is competitive and sometimes gets upset if he doesn't win).
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This experience has been a huge success for our family so I wanted to share more details about it.
Maybe you'll be inspired to creatively meet your family's needs in your own out-of-the-box way.
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Here's what we love about this setup:
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My kid has a blast because he gets to do the thing he loves.
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In the past, my kid sometimes complained or cried about having a babysitter because he loves time with me and was reluctant to give up my attention so I could do some work or get a break. By leaning into his interest, we've made babysitting a huge highlight for him instead of a strain. He is thrilled when one of his Minecraft babysitters comes over and often asks when we can schedule them again.
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My kid gets social time with an older kid.
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Many gifted and twice-exceptional kids long for social connection that's hard to find among their age-mates.
Their peers may not be interested in the same things or even understand the topics they want to talk about.
For example, when my kid's interest in Minecraft was at its peak, his preschool classmates didn't know anything about Minecraft, googolplex, or other topics he wanted to discuss. Although he enjoyed a lot of silly and physical play with his age-mates, his peers weren't interested in sustained conversation the way he was, so that social need was often unmet.
When his Minecraft babysitters come over, my kid is beyond excited to chat with them, joke together, play collaboratively, and share conversations about Minecraft. He gets to connect with a young person who can fully understand him and meet him where he's at.
Because the babysitters are still young and doing something they love, there is also a lot of playfulness, silliness, and very kid-like spontaneity that a grownup just can't offer, even if they agree to play Minecraft with him.
They are also, let's be honest, much more skilled at Minecraft than me or my partner 😆 and that's fun for my kid.
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We honor my kid's interests instead of shaming them.
When our family was busy preparing for a cross-country move, we needed to hire babysitters often so we could get moving tasks done around the house. This was a busy and stressful time, and my kid found it much easier to hang out with a babysitter if he was also allowed to watch YouTube videos or play on his iPad.
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Although I told our babysitters at the time that it was okay for him to use screens during their time together, we noticed that a lot of babysitters seemed uncomfortable with this and either encouraged or pressured my kid to try other activities. It didn't feel good for my kid and I noticed that I worried a lot about being judged. My kid often had a post-babysitter meltdown similar to a post-school meltdown.
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With our Minecraft babysitters, we're embracing our kid's interest and putting it at the forefront of the experience on purpose. No one is made to feel bad for loving Minecraft or for spending time on a screen.
This setup works well for us logistically and financially.
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It turns out some 10- and 12-year-olds have pretty flexible schedules 😜. It's been pretty easy to schedule with them or their parents, and they're often available on school holidays.
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My partner and I can also pay the babysitters a generous rate for their age and still save money compared to an adult's pay rate in our city. We no longer feel reluctant to hire a babysitter because we're not sure it will be "worth it" - in terms of finances and in terms of my kid's emotional backlash after a typical babysitting gig.
(One of us always stays home with the younger Minecraft babysitters, so it doesn't meet all our needs, but it's still great to get some work time or down time on the weekends.)
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It's fun for the babysitters.
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I've heard from the babysitters' parents that they really enjoy playing with my kid, and from what I can overhear it sounds like they're actually having fun together. It makes me happy that the babysitters have an opportunity to share something they love with someone younger than them and to get paid for it!
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Many neurodivergent tweens and teens have similar interests to our young gifted/2e kids and would love to get paid for sharing their interest with a younger kid who's excited about it too. (In fact, if you're reading this and you have a tween or teen, you might consider finding them a babysitting gig focused around one of their favorite interests!)
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A Minecraft babysitter specifically may not be a good fit for you and your family, but I wanted to share my thoughts around this because I think it's a good example of a truth about parenting gifted/2e kids.
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That truth?
Non-traditional approaches often work best.
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It can feel a little daunting to think outside the box and go outside of social scripts of what's "normal."
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But it can feel liberating too!
Our Minecraft babysitter experience has brought us a lot of joy because it fits our family so well and it's tailored to what we like and need.
What would it be like to step outside what's "normal" and craft something just for your kid and your family?
If that intrigues you, here are a few questions to ponder -
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What are some needs your kid or family has that aren't fully met right now? (e.g., my partner and I needed a break for rest or work on the weekends)
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What are some of the "traditional" ways to meet this need? (e.g., a babysitter).
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Do the traditional ways feel like a fit? If not, what doesn't work well for you or your kid? (for us, he wants to use screen times to regulate with babysitters but it's not that fun for either of them)
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Could you tweak a traditional method in some way so it's a better fit for your family or more individualized? (e.g., a special-interest babysitter)
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Do you have any "weird," out-of-the-box, or non-linear ideas about how to meet this need?
If you want more ideas like this directly to your inbox, sign up for Gifted Lab Notes, my weekly email with tips and information for parents of intense or sensitive gifted or twice-exceptional (2e) kids.
If you want to feel more confident stepping away from parenting norms that aren't serving you, you may like to work with me in my parent coaching program, Support Your Intense Gifted/2e Kid.
You'll get lots of support understanding what your particular kid needs to thrive, and I'll help you shift your mindset to capitalize on interests, strengths, and positive experiences so you don't feel so stuck in what's hard.